Dear Sweet Baby Lipsey,
Welcome to fetushood! 9 weeks and 1 day ago, the Lord spoke you into existence and blessed us with the most precious gift of your life. I'm crying just thinking about it. About you. About the abundant grace of our Savior and how He loves US. Your daddy and I are just so happy. Overjoyed. I've heard that term so many times and never thought I'd feel it myself, but here we are. You're a tiny, precious ball of perfection with eye-lids, teeth, and fingernails, and though I can't see you or literally feel you, I carry you right in my heart. You, little one, are always on my mind. Everything that happens in my life requires careful consideration of how it will affect you first. My heart is so full it feels like it just may burst, and I know that the love I feel for you will only be magnified as we move closer to your birth and your life outside of me. I simultaneously look forward to and dread that day...I can't wait to hold you in my arms and share you with the world, but I also want to keep you right with me so I can keep you safe.
I have often wondered what I would want to tell you first when you're here. I'm sure that on the day of your birth neither of us will be up for one of my classic lectures, so I'll just have it all here for you when the time comes and you want to know how things were before you were born.
I want you to know how much you're loved, sweet baby, because you are oh so loved. I love you so much that it hurts. And I've loved you as long as I can remember--long before your 9 weeks of existence began, even before I met your daddy. I have always, always wanted to be your mommy, and I can't believe that time has finally come! How blessed we are, little one!! Your daddy loves you too. Though he's more subtle and less wordy than I am, I know you will always know that he loves you. You'll see it in the way he looks at you and in that smile he reserves for those of us he loves the most. You'll know because your daddy shows his love by performing acts of service...he will do things for you that you may not even deserve. He will be such a good daddy to you, my darling. I'll try not to be jealous when he becomes wrapped around your finger instead of my own. We are so very lucky to have him. He wasn't an easy catch, but he was worth the wait, just as you will be. My greatest prayer is that you are more like him than you are like me because he is a beautiful, wonderful person. We are blessed to share a life with this man, just wait and you'll see.
I need you to know how much God loves you, baby. He created you from nothing, my little miracle. When the doctors said no, God said yes! He surprised us all by breathing life where there was none and placing you in an empty space to prepare you for this world. He has a purpose for you, precious, and for me. You, weighing in at less than an ounce, are my most powerful testimony, and I cannot wait to share our story with the world! One day when you're older and want to know where babies come from I will go into more detail, but for now I just want you to know how truly special you are. When my body wouldn't do the ONE thing I needed to get you here, God brought you here to me anyway. I know that is difficult to process, because it is for me, but all I need you to learn from that right now is that you are LOVED. So loved that you exist when science said you shouldn't. God is sovereign, precious one, and He loves you. Once again I say we are blessed! My prayer is that you will come to know Him and to love Him as well, and that I will be able to honor Him while parenting you the way I should.
I can't end this letter without noting that we are not the only people who love you. You've got a ton of grandparents and great-grandparents, a few aunts and uncles, and some very special friends who love you, too. You have been loved on and prayed for so long already! I can't wait for you to come into this world and experience all the love and cuddles we've set aside for you. Stay in there long enough to be healthy, though, mommy doesn't want you out to soon! I can't wait to meet you!
All my love for all my life,
Mommy
PS: Your daddy's daddy (who thinks you're going to call him Mr. Lipsey Sir, but you're totally not) has requested we name you Clinkscale after his most favorite cat. As a compromise we will be calling you Clinkscale on this blog until we know your name for real. I hope you don't hate me for this when you're a teenager. If so, please direct all complaints to Sharpsburg at your "Mr. Lipsey Sir."
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
This Valentine's Day
I used to hate Valentine's Day. I thought it was over-commercialized and stupid, and I love my husband 24/7/365, so I didn't need a holiday to show it. No cards, roses, or expensive chocolate at my house. We save the chocolate for the day after when it's 50% off at Wal-Mart. We're quite romantic.
But this Valentine's Day everything changed.
This Valentine's Day I realized that I had been especially moody and hateful.
This Valentine's Day I noticed that the menstrual symptoms I had been experiencing had been present far longer than a week...and more like 4 weeks.
This Valentine's Day I gathered all the strength I had and went to Wal-Mart to pick up a test before my courage gave out.
This Valentine's Day I prayed....and prayed...and prayed.
This Valentine's Day I rallied the troops of my closest friend to pray with me and give me encouragement.
This Valentine's Day, I peed on 2 sticks, which offered me a new outlook on Valentine's Day altogether.
This Valentine's Day, against all odds, I became a mother.
This Valentine's Day changed our lives, and brought with it the promise of tomorrow and the proof the our Lord is still doing miracles. What a blessing we have received and Baby Lipsey isn't even here yet!!
Please join us in praying, friends, for this precious miracle on the way. See you October 14, little one, you know your Mama (and Daddy too!) loves you!
But this Valentine's Day everything changed.
This Valentine's Day I realized that I had been especially moody and hateful.
This Valentine's Day I noticed that the menstrual symptoms I had been experiencing had been present far longer than a week...and more like 4 weeks.
This Valentine's Day I gathered all the strength I had and went to Wal-Mart to pick up a test before my courage gave out.
This Valentine's Day I prayed....and prayed...and prayed.
This Valentine's Day I rallied the troops of my closest friend to pray with me and give me encouragement.
This Valentine's Day, I peed on 2 sticks, which offered me a new outlook on Valentine's Day altogether.
This Valentine's Day, against all odds, I became a mother.
This Valentine's Day changed our lives, and brought with it the promise of tomorrow and the proof the our Lord is still doing miracles. What a blessing we have received and Baby Lipsey isn't even here yet!!
Please join us in praying, friends, for this precious miracle on the way. See you October 14, little one, you know your Mama (and Daddy too!) loves you!
27 I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. 28 So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there. 1 Samuel 1:27-28 NIV
THANK YOU, sweet Lord, for your blessings on me!!
THANK YOU, sweet Lord, for your blessings on me!!
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Writer's Block & Big News
It appears I've been a horrible blogger as of late, but I really just don't have much to say. Or perhaps I've got TOO much to say and I can't figure out how to say it. Something like that. Either way, I've been absent and in case you're the type of person who is concerned with my life, I apologize.
Not much to say on the Operation Baby Lipsey front, but I am thrilled to finally announce that I've got a new job! I have officially turned in my notice at the hospital and will be starting April 14th with a hospice company in Dalton. As I'm not currently aware of their social media policy I won't mention the name, but if you're super curious you can message me and I'll share it with you. I am so excited!!!
I'm excited to delve into the adventure of hospice, something I've always been intrigued by but simultaneously afraid to approach. I found out about the job from someone I had never even met on facebook (one of the million reasons it pays to be a social media junkie like myself), blindly sent my resume, and had an interview within a week! Despite some negative comments from other people regarding the difficulty and sadness associated with hospice care, I truly think it will be a great fit and I feel blessed to have the opportunity to gain the experience myself. I'm nervous (who isn't nervous when starting a new job?!), but I'm honored to be able to provide end of life care to not only patients, but the family unit as well. We have had a number of hospice patients on my floor at the hospital, so I will not be going into this blindly. Though we all know that death can be [is almost always] sad, I think it is also a blessing to have the ability to assist in the journey and carry some of the burden.
I must also share the answer to my most frequently asked question and tell you that Tyler has not yet found a job. It's still early when it comes to school systems hiring new teachers, but we are not concerned. I've got peace like I haven't had in a long time (thank You Lord!), and I just know everything will be okay and he will find something. Or I'll get to be sole provider for my family for a time, which would also be considered a blessing...may we all take a moment to remember that this precious, perfect man supported our family independently while I spent time back in school to become a nurse. It would be a privilege to allow him some time to find the best fit for his career, too.
That's about it! I'll officially be back in the Dalton/Chatsworth area mid-April, and the love of my life will still be here, so please make plans with my lonely, drifting heart! I can assure you the distraction would be nice as I'm not always excellent when it comes to big life changes.
We also need a place to live so if you know of any 3bed, 2bath homes for rent in the area PLEASE let me know!
Please keep us in your prayers as we move toward all of these big transitions, and as always, send up a few for the future Baby Lipsey too.
XOXO,
Hannah
Not much to say on the Operation Baby Lipsey front, but I am thrilled to finally announce that I've got a new job! I have officially turned in my notice at the hospital and will be starting April 14th with a hospice company in Dalton. As I'm not currently aware of their social media policy I won't mention the name, but if you're super curious you can message me and I'll share it with you. I am so excited!!!
I'm excited to delve into the adventure of hospice, something I've always been intrigued by but simultaneously afraid to approach. I found out about the job from someone I had never even met on facebook (one of the million reasons it pays to be a social media junkie like myself), blindly sent my resume, and had an interview within a week! Despite some negative comments from other people regarding the difficulty and sadness associated with hospice care, I truly think it will be a great fit and I feel blessed to have the opportunity to gain the experience myself. I'm nervous (who isn't nervous when starting a new job?!), but I'm honored to be able to provide end of life care to not only patients, but the family unit as well. We have had a number of hospice patients on my floor at the hospital, so I will not be going into this blindly. Though we all know that death can be [is almost always] sad, I think it is also a blessing to have the ability to assist in the journey and carry some of the burden.
I must also share the answer to my most frequently asked question and tell you that Tyler has not yet found a job. It's still early when it comes to school systems hiring new teachers, but we are not concerned. I've got peace like I haven't had in a long time (thank You Lord!), and I just know everything will be okay and he will find something. Or I'll get to be sole provider for my family for a time, which would also be considered a blessing...may we all take a moment to remember that this precious, perfect man supported our family independently while I spent time back in school to become a nurse. It would be a privilege to allow him some time to find the best fit for his career, too.
That's about it! I'll officially be back in the Dalton/Chatsworth area mid-April, and the love of my life will still be here, so please make plans with my lonely, drifting heart! I can assure you the distraction would be nice as I'm not always excellent when it comes to big life changes.
We also need a place to live so if you know of any 3bed, 2bath homes for rent in the area PLEASE let me know!
Please keep us in your prayers as we move toward all of these big transitions, and as always, send up a few for the future Baby Lipsey too.
XOXO,
Hannah
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Old Lady Poses as Hip College Student
Hello beautiful friends! I've actually got very little to say, but I'm in a coffee shop on UCLA's campus and honestly have nothing else to do & I'm afraid if I don't look busy some young, trendy whippersnapper will come and ask me to give up my table. So here I sit, and here I write.
Yesterday I woke up at 0330 EST to drive to the Jacksonville airport and catch a plane at 0925. Needless to say I was well over 2 hours early, and had nothing to do then, either. It was almost 70 degrees out when the plane took off in Jacksonville, and upon landing in Denver 4 hours later it was -8. I don't even know how to register such a temperature, but it was COLD. Fortunately yesterday was very clear with few clouds in the sky, so I was able to see all kinds of snow from a bird's eye view. However, being the Fatty Patty I am (sorry for the expression Patty!), all I could think of was vanilla soft serve ice cream. Those mountains looked delicious! Getting off the plane and feeling the chill was enough to curb my craving though.
My plane out of Denver was delayed by 1.5 hours, which had me arriving in LA at approximately 1515 (3:15pm)Pacific...roughly 1815(6:15pm) EST. I personally thought that was an excellent time for bed, but Hot Rod operates on west coast time, so she picked me up and we went to the world's earliest dinner (in her time zone, that is).
At my friend Kristina's recommendation we went to In-N-Out Burger in Westwood and I had animal style fries and animal style cheeseburger. Now, if you talk to a Californian, the special In-N-Out sauce is truly special and unique, but if you talk to a Georgia girl who loves a Big Mac she will tell you it's wildly similar to Mickey-D's sauce! The relish is more prominent in In-N-Out's sauce, but they taste incredibly similar. I love a Big Mac any day of the week, so I think this is 100% fine, but I do apologize to the In-N-Out faithful out there who may be offended by my opinion on this very important matter. Regardless of sauce, the burger was delicious & I'm glad I kicked off my LA vacation with a California-specific dining experience.
Following dinner, we went to church youth group where Sarah assists as one of the group leaders. Though exhausted and having a very difficult time focusing on the message, I really enjoyed attending this event that serves as the highlight of my dear friend's week, and getting to meet some of the people she so dearly loves.
California kids are different than our southern Georgia kids, y'all! As a long-term people watcher, I liked being able to sit back & observe the kids as they interacted with each other. When I was in youth group, I remember discussing such important things as who was kissing who and what our plans were for the upcoming weekend. When I was a teacher, I observed kids discussing much the same things, very rarely anything long-term or goal-oriented unless it involved a date to the prom. These kids spent all of their time discussing school. "I need to take these classes so I can get into this school," and "I'm waiting to hear back from this school that I applied to in order to start this summer," and "I'm on break because I'm studying abroad in another country this year" (In HIGH SCHOOL Y'ALL)...you get my point. These children also seemed especially articulate when discussing important subject matter, but I would assume this is attributed to their private school educations. Not much time for learning how to have an intellectual discussion or debate in the standards-based classroom, am I right? These children were truly more like miniature adults than teenagers. I'll keep my slightly biased opinion to myself, but it was interesting to compare the culture from east coast to west. We often forget how much we differ even though we all live in the big US of A. And, if I may interject this here, I'm happy to be a small town Georgia girl and to (hopefully) raise my children the same way....I'll probably teach them a few big, swanky LA words in case they need them though:)
Also, youth group went from 1900-2030(7-8:30pm)! SO LATE!! I remember going from 1800-1900 (6-7), maybe 1930/7:30 at the latest on a school night. It might've seemed later because their 2030/8:30 is actually my 11:30/2330. On a typical night, I've been asleep for at least 2 hours by then.
After youth group I 100% crashed. I'm talking didn't even brush my teeth or wash my face crashed. Plugged up that phone that said 0030 EST and I don't remember much else. Total jet lag exhaustion & I thought I'd sleep for days like I did when transitioning back and forth from night shift to day time living. Instead, though, I woke up about 5 times in the night and finally woke up for good around 0745 Cali time/1045 EST.
This morning I did nothing except get ready & come to campus on the bus with Sarah. Currently, I'm feeling a wave of nostalgia and longing for my glory days @ good ole UGA where I took the bus and ambled around campus. California's nice, but you can't beat North Campus no matter how hard you try.
In other news, half of my heart is in Thomasville. I think it's excellent that Tyler & I are comfortable spending time apart & taking solo vacations, but I'm also glad we don't make it a regular occurrence. I'm having a fabulous time, but words can't express how much I miss my man!! He's pulling double duty at the school these days, and I know he's stressed, so I'm sure that doesn't help matters. So thankful I took a few extra days off work so we can spend some time together when I return to the east coast in a few days.
I guess I had a lot to say for somebody who had nothing to say initially, but that's pretty much the story of my life. Also, my dad is traveling to Costa Rica as we speak/type/read, so if you could send up a prayer for safe travels I would appreciate it!
I'll probably write again soon...Hot Rod as another class this afternoon.
XOXO,
Hannah
Yesterday I woke up at 0330 EST to drive to the Jacksonville airport and catch a plane at 0925. Needless to say I was well over 2 hours early, and had nothing to do then, either. It was almost 70 degrees out when the plane took off in Jacksonville, and upon landing in Denver 4 hours later it was -8. I don't even know how to register such a temperature, but it was COLD. Fortunately yesterday was very clear with few clouds in the sky, so I was able to see all kinds of snow from a bird's eye view. However, being the Fatty Patty I am (sorry for the expression Patty!), all I could think of was vanilla soft serve ice cream. Those mountains looked delicious! Getting off the plane and feeling the chill was enough to curb my craving though.
My plane out of Denver was delayed by 1.5 hours, which had me arriving in LA at approximately 1515 (3:15pm)Pacific...roughly 1815(6:15pm) EST. I personally thought that was an excellent time for bed, but Hot Rod operates on west coast time, so she picked me up and we went to the world's earliest dinner (in her time zone, that is).
At my friend Kristina's recommendation we went to In-N-Out Burger in Westwood and I had animal style fries and animal style cheeseburger. Now, if you talk to a Californian, the special In-N-Out sauce is truly special and unique, but if you talk to a Georgia girl who loves a Big Mac she will tell you it's wildly similar to Mickey-D's sauce! The relish is more prominent in In-N-Out's sauce, but they taste incredibly similar. I love a Big Mac any day of the week, so I think this is 100% fine, but I do apologize to the In-N-Out faithful out there who may be offended by my opinion on this very important matter. Regardless of sauce, the burger was delicious & I'm glad I kicked off my LA vacation with a California-specific dining experience.
Following dinner, we went to church youth group where Sarah assists as one of the group leaders. Though exhausted and having a very difficult time focusing on the message, I really enjoyed attending this event that serves as the highlight of my dear friend's week, and getting to meet some of the people she so dearly loves.
California kids are different than our southern Georgia kids, y'all! As a long-term people watcher, I liked being able to sit back & observe the kids as they interacted with each other. When I was in youth group, I remember discussing such important things as who was kissing who and what our plans were for the upcoming weekend. When I was a teacher, I observed kids discussing much the same things, very rarely anything long-term or goal-oriented unless it involved a date to the prom. These kids spent all of their time discussing school. "I need to take these classes so I can get into this school," and "I'm waiting to hear back from this school that I applied to in order to start this summer," and "I'm on break because I'm studying abroad in another country this year" (In HIGH SCHOOL Y'ALL)...you get my point. These children also seemed especially articulate when discussing important subject matter, but I would assume this is attributed to their private school educations. Not much time for learning how to have an intellectual discussion or debate in the standards-based classroom, am I right? These children were truly more like miniature adults than teenagers. I'll keep my slightly biased opinion to myself, but it was interesting to compare the culture from east coast to west. We often forget how much we differ even though we all live in the big US of A. And, if I may interject this here, I'm happy to be a small town Georgia girl and to (hopefully) raise my children the same way....I'll probably teach them a few big, swanky LA words in case they need them though:)
Also, youth group went from 1900-2030(7-8:30pm)! SO LATE!! I remember going from 1800-1900 (6-7), maybe 1930/7:30 at the latest on a school night. It might've seemed later because their 2030/8:30 is actually my 11:30/2330. On a typical night, I've been asleep for at least 2 hours by then.
After youth group I 100% crashed. I'm talking didn't even brush my teeth or wash my face crashed. Plugged up that phone that said 0030 EST and I don't remember much else. Total jet lag exhaustion & I thought I'd sleep for days like I did when transitioning back and forth from night shift to day time living. Instead, though, I woke up about 5 times in the night and finally woke up for good around 0745 Cali time/1045 EST.
This morning I did nothing except get ready & come to campus on the bus with Sarah. Currently, I'm feeling a wave of nostalgia and longing for my glory days @ good ole UGA where I took the bus and ambled around campus. California's nice, but you can't beat North Campus no matter how hard you try.
In other news, half of my heart is in Thomasville. I think it's excellent that Tyler & I are comfortable spending time apart & taking solo vacations, but I'm also glad we don't make it a regular occurrence. I'm having a fabulous time, but words can't express how much I miss my man!! He's pulling double duty at the school these days, and I know he's stressed, so I'm sure that doesn't help matters. So thankful I took a few extra days off work so we can spend some time together when I return to the east coast in a few days.
I guess I had a lot to say for somebody who had nothing to say initially, but that's pretty much the story of my life. Also, my dad is traveling to Costa Rica as we speak/type/read, so if you could send up a prayer for safe travels I would appreciate it!
I'll probably write again soon...Hot Rod as another class this afternoon.
XOXO,
Hannah
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Greetings!
Greetings friends, from an absentee blogger who is STOKED to have 11 days off work!! This time tomorrow I'll be on the west coast for a week of relaxation, no thinking, and some catch up time with my dear friend Sarah! My goal is to not obsess about sex, conception, (there's that oxford comma TAYLOR!) and babies for the whole of my trip, aside from the portion where I fully catch Sarah up on the goings on of my lady business.
In order to do this, I must update you on my situation prior to leaving for the big city of LA. I was scheduled to see my OBGYN last Thursday to follow up on my not-so-happy-yet-somehow-relieving diagnosis of PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). We were hoping to be able to look into treatment options and figure out where we are going from here. Unfortunately, The Lord said, "let there be ice and snow," and the entire city of Atlanta became gridlocked for a million hours and I couldn't get through. Appointment canceled. Unfortunately, due to my work schedule, and fortunately, due to my rockin' vacation schedule, I cannot follow up until February 27th. So we're playing the ever so familiar waiting game!
In the meantime, my body has decided to engage me in a crazy little dance of hormones with delightful symptoms that could either indicate a menstrual cycle or a baby. AWESOME. I'll keep them to myself because some of them are inappropriate for even me to talk about on the world wide web, and because I really, truly DO NOT think I'm with child and I don't want anyone to try to talk me into thinking I'm pregnant, either. Hope is a dangerous thing when you're in a situation like mine. The emotional crazy woman brain says, "OMG HANNAH! I think we're making a baby this time even though your symptoms are the same as every other time you've had a menstrual cycle!" and nursey brain says, "Felicia, you're going to have to do better. We both know you aren't bearing a seed in there and you're just going to make yourself cry. Get it together." I don't know what's going on, but I wish I'd either get a visit from Aunt Flo or feel something kick me from the inside so I'd know. I'd like to point out, though, if I catch the clown who apparently used my breasts as punching bags when I wasn't paying attention, I will kill you. This has got to go.
So that's it, loves. We know nothing new other than I'm going on vacation and will not be conceiving (unless it's immaculate, which could happen because I do not doubt the power of the Almighty God) while I'm gone. Keep praying for us, I feel them working because I've got a peace that can't be explained.
XOXO,
Hannah
In order to do this, I must update you on my situation prior to leaving for the big city of LA. I was scheduled to see my OBGYN last Thursday to follow up on my not-so-happy-yet-somehow-relieving diagnosis of PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). We were hoping to be able to look into treatment options and figure out where we are going from here. Unfortunately, The Lord said, "let there be ice and snow," and the entire city of Atlanta became gridlocked for a million hours and I couldn't get through. Appointment canceled. Unfortunately, due to my work schedule, and fortunately, due to my rockin' vacation schedule, I cannot follow up until February 27th. So we're playing the ever so familiar waiting game!
In the meantime, my body has decided to engage me in a crazy little dance of hormones with delightful symptoms that could either indicate a menstrual cycle or a baby. AWESOME. I'll keep them to myself because some of them are inappropriate for even me to talk about on the world wide web, and because I really, truly DO NOT think I'm with child and I don't want anyone to try to talk me into thinking I'm pregnant, either. Hope is a dangerous thing when you're in a situation like mine. The emotional crazy woman brain says, "OMG HANNAH! I think we're making a baby this time even though your symptoms are the same as every other time you've had a menstrual cycle!" and nursey brain says, "Felicia, you're going to have to do better. We both know you aren't bearing a seed in there and you're just going to make yourself cry. Get it together." I don't know what's going on, but I wish I'd either get a visit from Aunt Flo or feel something kick me from the inside so I'd know. I'd like to point out, though, if I catch the clown who apparently used my breasts as punching bags when I wasn't paying attention, I will kill you. This has got to go.
So that's it, loves. We know nothing new other than I'm going on vacation and will not be conceiving (unless it's immaculate, which could happen because I do not doubt the power of the Almighty God) while I'm gone. Keep praying for us, I feel them working because I've got a peace that can't be explained.
XOXO,
Hannah
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Caught Me Off-Guard Again
Last Tuesday I had my awesome doctor's appointment, which ended with a promise to call with lab results and a follow up appointment. I paced around and waited as long as I could, but I finally broke down to call the office today. I was completely unconcerned...I have beautiful ovaries, a nice healthy-looking uterus, and no red flags pointing to thyroid problems. Healthy lady parts all around.
The nurse I spoke to was beyond nice (is this an inappropriate time to say, "hire me please?!") and started off with, "Well your prolactin levels and TSH levels are great, but..." WHAT?! There's a but? But I'm healthy? But I'm fine and everything LOOKS fine?! "But your LH and FSH ratio shows that you have polycystic ovarian syndrome."
Ever feel like you've been socked in the gut by words alone?
The strangest part was that this was the diagnosis I had been expecting all along. I had imagined myself feeling great relief with this diagnosis because we would finally have something to treat. But here I was sitting in bed with Harry Potter in hand trying not to cry. WHERE'S YOUR SPELL FOR FERTILITY, POTTER?! I kept it together long enough to make a follow up (1/30 at 1:30, easy to remember), then I hung up and felt sorry for myself. That soon gave way to pure teeth-baring anger.
Last March I had 4 labs drawn by GYN #2. Had she drawn one more lab at that time she'd have seen my LH/FSH ratio indicated PCOS and I would've been diagnosed then. I could have a baby in my arms or in my uterus right now, and that makes me red-hot with fury.
I've had a good cry and done some research, and now we're back to the waiting game. I know it's all in God's plan and my gift will come in HIS time, but the waiting is so hard. Restore me, Lord, and help me to see this as a leap forward instead of focusing so hard on the past.
Thanks, as always, for your support. And HUGE thanks to my pregnant best friend for being ready to kick GYN #2's butt, and to my friend Ashley for walking this journey and picking me up off the floor today. I love you all. Now bear with me as I overwhelm your news and pinterest feeds with PCOS information.
Let the PCOS games begin,
Hannah
The nurse I spoke to was beyond nice (is this an inappropriate time to say, "hire me please?!") and started off with, "Well your prolactin levels and TSH levels are great, but..." WHAT?! There's a but? But I'm healthy? But I'm fine and everything LOOKS fine?! "But your LH and FSH ratio shows that you have polycystic ovarian syndrome."
Ever feel like you've been socked in the gut by words alone?
The strangest part was that this was the diagnosis I had been expecting all along. I had imagined myself feeling great relief with this diagnosis because we would finally have something to treat. But here I was sitting in bed with Harry Potter in hand trying not to cry. WHERE'S YOUR SPELL FOR FERTILITY, POTTER?! I kept it together long enough to make a follow up (1/30 at 1:30, easy to remember), then I hung up and felt sorry for myself. That soon gave way to pure teeth-baring anger.
Last March I had 4 labs drawn by GYN #2. Had she drawn one more lab at that time she'd have seen my LH/FSH ratio indicated PCOS and I would've been diagnosed then. I could have a baby in my arms or in my uterus right now, and that makes me red-hot with fury.
I've had a good cry and done some research, and now we're back to the waiting game. I know it's all in God's plan and my gift will come in HIS time, but the waiting is so hard. Restore me, Lord, and help me to see this as a leap forward instead of focusing so hard on the past.
Thanks, as always, for your support. And HUGE thanks to my pregnant best friend for being ready to kick GYN #2's butt, and to my friend Ashley for walking this journey and picking me up off the floor today. I love you all. Now bear with me as I overwhelm your news and pinterest feeds with PCOS information.
Let the PCOS games begin,
Hannah
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Only Hate the Road When You're Missing Home
...& I've really been hating the road here lately, for the past 2 years or so. Plus I just love that Let Her Go song & wanted to use the lyrics in the title.
9 years ago in August I left my home with my best friend Keisha & my mom crying in the driveway and followed my dad to a brand new life in Athens. I was scared to death and didn't even know how to get to Athens on my own, but I was so excited and even more sure I would never, ever be back.
I spent four amazing years at the flagship university of this great state (GO DAWGS!), wasting time & money on a degree I wouldn't use, and meeting some of my best friends and the love of my life. After that I spent a year in Douglas teaching, then married the most wonderful man I've ever known which was followed by a move to Thomasville where we've been for 3 1/2 years now. I have loved Thomasville and my family that lives here, but the time has come for a change.
I am terribly excited to finally get to announce that WE ARE MOVING HOME!! I've known for approximately 8 months now, but because of employers and what not we've been keeping it a secret. Do you know how hard that is for an over-sharer like myself!?
To answer a few questions, no we don't have jobs and no we don't know where we are living. We aren't even sure what city we're headed to, just somewhere in the northwest Georgia Chatsworth/Dalton area. I have very few details, but I couldn't hold it in any longer and Tyler said I could tell! Please pray for us and with us as we try to nail down the finer points of our relocation, especially our future employment situations. If you know of anybody in the northwest GA/TN area looking for a fabulous nurse and super hot band director let us know!
We're comin' for ya, Chatsworth!
Hannah
9 years ago in August I left my home with my best friend Keisha & my mom crying in the driveway and followed my dad to a brand new life in Athens. I was scared to death and didn't even know how to get to Athens on my own, but I was so excited and even more sure I would never, ever be back.
I spent four amazing years at the flagship university of this great state (GO DAWGS!), wasting time & money on a degree I wouldn't use, and meeting some of my best friends and the love of my life. After that I spent a year in Douglas teaching, then married the most wonderful man I've ever known which was followed by a move to Thomasville where we've been for 3 1/2 years now. I have loved Thomasville and my family that lives here, but the time has come for a change.
I am terribly excited to finally get to announce that WE ARE MOVING HOME!! I've known for approximately 8 months now, but because of employers and what not we've been keeping it a secret. Do you know how hard that is for an over-sharer like myself!?
To answer a few questions, no we don't have jobs and no we don't know where we are living. We aren't even sure what city we're headed to, just somewhere in the northwest Georgia Chatsworth/Dalton area. I have very few details, but I couldn't hold it in any longer and Tyler said I could tell! Please pray for us and with us as we try to nail down the finer points of our relocation, especially our future employment situations. If you know of anybody in the northwest GA/TN area looking for a fabulous nurse and super hot band director let us know!
We're comin' for ya, Chatsworth!
Hannah
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