An Open Letter to my Pregnant Best Friend: You Don't Get to Stifle Your Joy

As you may have gleaned from the title or her Facebook post, my best friend is pregnant with her 2nd child! Baby Mac version 2.0 is due in September!  I'm going to be an aunt again (irrelevant that I'm of no blood relation to this family), and I am ecstatic! However, due to my rebel ovaries and barren uterus, my poor Tabitha was scared to death to tell me. Here's an excerpt from my girl's pregnancy confession:

I get it, at least half of everything I say is somehow related to my intense longing to be called mommy, and she tried to get pregnant for maybe 1/4 of the amount of time I've been trying (I don't know the actual number there, she's the one who is good at math), and as hard as it has been for me to get pregnant, it's been just that easy for her. I know we aren't the first duo to tackle this issue, so I thought I'd write an open letter to her and all the other pregnant BFFs of infertiles out there.

Dear newly, easily pregnant best friend,

So I see that you're pregnant! Just kidding, you're not showing yet (don't freak out),  I only know because you told me.

First of all, massive congratulations are in order! From my perspective, there is nothing in the world that could be better news than a positive pregnancy test. You're making a miracle come to life in your very own body, which is almost too awesome to process. Believe me when I tell you that I am over the moon excited for you, and so happy that you've chosen to share this experience with me! Thank you, for having the courage to tell me, but my feelings should not be your top priority--YOU'RE HAVING A BABY!!

I honestly appreciate how concerned you were over how I would feel about this. I know how hard it must've been to tell me that after only a few months you were able to conceive. I can 100% understand your hesitation, and even the guilt that was involved, but I assure you that I'm not mad, hurt, or feeling any other negative emotions toward you or that precious baby you're growing. While I'll admit a twinge of jealousy and even a little cry on my husband's shoulder, I don't want this to detract from all the positive emotions you're feeling. BE EXCITED. God has chosen YOU to bring new life into this world, and that is nothing short of a MIRACLE. I cannot fathom a person more deserving of this precious gift of life!

You mentioned that this is unfair to me. While I totally agree (you'd have to be a fool to think it's fair for a teenager to have multiple children and a stable, married couple is unable to conceive), you not being able to conceive would never make this any more fair for me. Though I love sharing life with you, this is not a journey I'd wish to share with anyone. It's a dark, depressing life path we've been dragged down, and I am more than happy to leave you behind in the dust on this one. But here's what I want from you--don't leave me behind in the dust on this little one.

I want to be there for you and Baby Mac v2.0 through this entire pregnancy, and his/her entire life. The real injustice in the situation for me would come from you shielding me from the miracle you're expecting. I want to be at all the showers, all the shopping, all the insane decorating that I know you'll do, gender reveals, and at the hospital (not as an employee) when this little miracle enters the world. I want to obsess over your swollen feet and blood pressure like I did with Rayne, and I want to calm you down when you're worried about nonsense that doesn't even matter. I want to make sure none of this nonsense is centered around me because I am okay. One way or another I will get my miracle, and I'm confident you will be there to do all these things with and for me.

We've been friends for over 22 years now, so you know my ability to beat a dead horse and talk in circles, but I'll leave you with the phrase I've said over and over since you divulged your secret to me. You don't get to stifle your joy. Not on my behalf, or anyone else's. You get to experience this pregnancy with excitement and jubilance, and enjoy it all for the both of us. I could not love you more, and I will feel that way even if you have 27 more babies, though I will show up with an adoption lawyer at your baby showers if you spit out that many--don't get ridiculous.

So congratulations, beautiful best friend of mine, may we always share these joyous moments and celebrate this life together. I love you!

I'll kill you if you complain about morning sickness,
Hannah

She's pregnant!

Perfect little niece is going to be a big sister!