Today I had absolutely no intention of blogging period (I never feel like I have much to say anymore) and certainly no intention of blogging about this, but I read another blog and found an article that stopped me dead in my tracks. The article references episode one of the new season of Teen Mom (I'm missing having cable right now because I haven't seen it yet), when Farrah has to make the decision over who will have custody of Sophia in the event that her augmentation surgery ends up being fatal. You can read the article
here. Judging by the article (and her mother's slightly crazy tendencies) it seems like Farrah was hesitant to give custody of Sophia to her mom in the event of her death. Unfortunately, it also seems that her options were quite limited.
I am not a parent and I'm not sure when I'll become one, but I tried to think of who we would leave our child to in the event that Tyler and I both passed. That thought made me a little queasy. Despite the fact that my future child is not even a mature egg cell yet, I am quite attached to him. (I'm also convinced that I'm having sons.) And despite my own crazy tendencies and being incredibly neurotic, I still think I'm the only one who can be the best mother that he needs. So how can anyone who has already met their child even begin to search for a replacement mommy!?
Now, I understand that I have a while before I should think about such and I promise this is not some freaky way to break "OMG we're pregnant!" news, but it is something to think about. Who do
you trust to raise your baby(ies)? This is serious business, folks. Lucky for you, I've created a list of considerations that I (as a non-parent) think you should make before you die and leave your kids to someone else.
Aside: this is totally bogus and I probably don't know what I'm talking about, but if you've been reading this blog for any length of time you know my advice isn't always worth taking anyway.
1.
Age: if you choose some oldie goldie (example your mom, mother-in-law, or grandma **don't tell your mom I called her an oldie goldie!)to be your baby's new mommy he might need another replacement mom later on down the line. I understand this is moderately morbid, but having his great-grandmother raise him is slightly illogical. It happens and I'm not saying your oldie goldie lady figures aren't/weren't great moms, but he will want grandparents, etc. for his own little offspring one day too. I would imagine the generation gap would be a little difficult also. Also, I read today that having someone close to your age is best for baby.
2.
Location: Chatsworth folks, though I can love on your babies like crazy, I'm not the most sensible choice for being a Godmother. Why? Because I'm
so far away. Not only will they be orphans, they'll also be the new kids on the block (not the hangin' tough kind--please tell me you got the NKOTB reference) in their new home. Transition is hard regardless. HUGE transitions grouped together like this sounds like torture. It's also key that they'll be around other family members...so, if you having parents/grandparents in the greater Thomasville area, I might just be your girl.
3.
Familiarity: This should go without saying, but I think the best choice would be someone your kid actually knows. For example, I think my friend Sarah would make a great mom. It helps that she's been (and will soon be again)a rockin' nanny. Unfortunately, she's doing her nanny'ing in Boston and LA. My little will probably not be very familiar with her unless I get better with skype and generally keeping in touch before he gets here. Hopefully I will, but you can see why she wouldn't be the most practical choice. If I could convince her to move to Tville, though, it would be a different story.
4.
Your Spouse: His opinion counts too. Mamas don't rear children alone, and he may have a better idea than you for replacement parents. Have a conversation. Or perhaps 2938472938 of them, because this is a HUGE choice, but one that has to be made.
5.
Stability: You should choose the most stable potential Godparents that you are comfortable with. By that I not only mean folks that you trust and that you know will raise your kids according to your values, etc., but also a family that can afford your children. Perhaps the Duggars are not the best choice as they have 19(maybe more?) of their own. Raising a kid is expensive and raising someone else's half-grown kid is a large financial burden to take on all at once. I'm not saying you should be shallow and quickly befriend the highest-paid aquaintance that you've got, but you don't want any extra stress added in this potential transition, for your children or they're Godparents who, I'm assuming, are your friends.
Well that's all I've got for now. Sorry for being morbid, but the thought kind of startled me and I found it blog worthy. You should also know that without talking to my husband I will gladly sign us up as your little's Godparents. He may or may not appreciate that fact. I'm kind of a basket case, but I'll have a stable job (eventually) and I'm really good at loving. Hubby's good at loving too and will provide the most stability as he is much more laid back and even-tempered than I am. I would appreciate that you tell your kids about the birds and the bees BEFORE you leave them to me though...only request.
So do YOU have Godparents? Would you become one if asked? What are your thoughts on the list (i.e. what did I miss)? I don't have Godparents, so I'm a little curious of the dynamic here. Lauren I'm looking for your opinion because I know you've got a Godmama!
XOXO & A promise of less morbid talk next time,
Hannah (potential Godmother extraordinaire)
