Instead, I sit.
The title + the first line are a line out of Ingrid Michaelson's song "Keep Breathing." And that's how I feel today. Melancholy. Ooooh I love that word so much it almost jerks me straight out of my melancholy mood!!
The big question of the day: What am I going to do with my life??
I know I've asked this over and over and over and over and I'd keep writing that but I'd run out of space with the number of times I'd have to write it in order to make it true. Hannah Leigh Henderson Lipsey has had about as many career "dreams" as there are stars in the sky. When I was little, I wanted to be a gymnast. The fact that I hated gymnastics was completely irrelevant. A scaredy cat with hyperhydrosis (the ever attractive hyper-sweating condition that I was blessed with) was never cut out to be a professional gymnast. Then, I wanted to be a perfectionist. I refused to admit that wasn't an actual profession and people kept laughing and thinking I was cute, so I stuck to it. I graduated high school with big plans to major in biology at UGA and become a doctor. Feel free to straight up LOL at that one because I found out at orientation that I'd won myself a free trip to remedial math class. There were nine of us. NINE. That's because you shouldn't require REMEDIAL classes if you get into UGA. (Side note: my smarty pants hubby never had to take a math class at all because he exempted them all. Sticking my tongue out at you, smart boy.) After that I went to nursing. WHAT? UGA doesn't have a nursing program!? I guess that won't work. So I decided I'd join the Marines after my freshman year. HAHAHAHAHA I'm the biggest pansy this side of the Mississippi so that wouldn't do either. I ran through Psychology, Sociology, Women's Studies (those were my "hardcore" feminist days), Health Promotions, Dietetics, and FACS Ed. I don't want to get into my decision making process but lets just say I'm a bit impulsive when it comes to decisions that really matter. I sweat the small stuff (of course I've already mentioned that I literally sweat all the time, but you know what I mean) and jump head first into life-altering decisions. I am a lot of things, but I'm not exactly a decision maker.
So here I stand (actually I'm sitting), a month and a half from turning 24 and I have no clue what to do with my life. I'm one quarter away from starting nursing school and I'm still unsure about that. Do shaky, sweaty hands make for good nurses?
We talked in church Saturday/Sunday about using your strengths in your career in order to make the most of your time (Remember we've been doing a series on time). Since we ran sound/lights/visuals I got to hear this message thrice and I came up with my list of strengths. I should go ahead and warn you that none of them are actually career-worthy:
1. Compassionate (this is my #1 trait...I'm compassionate to a fault sometimes)
2. Good listener
3. Good (ish) dancer
4. Good/funny blogger (at least this is what folks used to tell me on fbook!)
5. Safe driver (5 mph under the limit!)
6. Excellent phone voice
7. Superb list maker
8. Great sweater
9. Good reader
10. Advice-giver (folks ask my advice and while I'm not good with taking it myself, most people listen!)[side note: Tyler just said "You need a newspaper column called 'Ask Hannie.'" Me: "what????" T: "You know, like 'Ask Annie!'" Me: "I think you mean 'Dear Abby.'" T: "Oh." HAHAHAHAHA!]
11. Inappropriate humor (not the dirty stuff, just situational humor and generally making fun of myself and my hubby)
12. I file like a demon (basically, I know what order the alphabet goes in)
And there you have it. Hannah Lipsey's List of Skills! Doesn't that just SCREAM hire me!?? No?
I think my newest dream would be to start some kind of nonprofit. I just want to love on people...especially the kind of people the rest of the world has shut out. The thing is, I have no resources (mainly $ & skillz) to do this. In fact, I don't even know what kind of nonprofit/shelter/soup kitchen/childrens facility Thomas County needs! I know we have a battered womens shelter, a food pantry and a soup kitchen, so those are out. Anyway, I don't know where to head from here. I'd like your prayers and any kind of advice giving you'd like to contribute. Even if its to stick with nursing! I say that because I'm not 100% sure I don't want to be a nurse...right now I'd like to work in a prison and love on people there (appropriately, obviously).
Dr. Melisa, I may be up at Vandy with you before this is all over...just expect it and give me the good drugs, ok?
I believe that's it! I needed to vent, so you got the ear full. Speaking of ears, I had to read a poem about people getting their ears cut off in English today...siiiick. I'm no good with poetry anyway.
XOXO, ears, and big dreams,
Hannah
Have you seen that show called Secret Millionaire? I want to be a secret millionaire when I grow up, but it doesn't look like I'm going to have big bucks to give away anytime soon....
ReplyDeleteYou know, of course, that I am NOT philosophical in the least.... I'm particularly blunt and brash sometimes (this is why you love me). So, here's my opinion: nobody has any clue at ALL what to do with their lives. Even the ones that seem to know EXACTLY what they wanna do really have no clue. The key is being really good at faking it. You make a big decision and then throw yourself into it heart and soul and pray for the best. About 50% of the time, it's gonna go to hell. BUT the other 50% of the time, it turns out to be a really great decision. Nobody has a clue where they're gonna end up. As for you, I think you should keep going to school. If you end up with 32 degrees, so be it. THAT'S FINE. Twenty-four isn't even scratching the surface. When you're 42 and still in school...then I will give you a serious talking to. <3
ReplyDeleteAs someone who also changed life goals about 319543875 times in life and college, I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from. (You wanted to be a perfectionist? I wanted to be a professional sleeper...)
ReplyDeleteWhat I'm learning, day after day through my "real" job and the business I've started creating is that just having stepped on a couple paths has shown me what I do and don't want to do.
The point: take action. Start something. Delaying finding a line of work for fear of hating it is delaying finding the thing you love.
I also have no idea what I want to do with my life... Maybe we should start a club!
ReplyDelete